Finals are next week, and I am definitely starting to feel it today. I got really overwhelmed looking at all the work I have for the next week and a half and I lied down and cried, haha. That's usually how I handle most things I have to do, I get really overwhelmed at first and have this horrible feeling in my chest, I cry, I moan that it's too much to handle, and then I am fine and I realize that it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be. I mean people I act this way whenever I have more than 2 errands to run in a day, yeah, that's a glimpse of what it's like living with terrible anxiety. I went to a therapist with the help of my grandpa when I was 18 and after she diagnosed me pure OCD, I stopped going to her. I felt like all I needed to know was that something was out of the ordinary and then I could adjust accordingly; I know the problem so now I can fix it. I just wanted someone to tell me that, yes, what I'm experiencing isn't normal. I tried talking with my parents about it, but I was just told I wanted attention. Mom was easier to talk to and more supportive and tried to get me on medicine, but I didn't want that. It's a struggle, and I know how I react to some things is silly and over the top, but at least now I can tell myself that it's just the anxiety talking and that everything is going to be okay. For once in my life I also have a boyfriend who is very supportive and understanding which is helpful too. Just writing this post has helped me calm down, I feel better getting it off my chest.
I picked up this vintage secretary blouse at His House for a dollar, and I came home and immediately showed my mom and said, "How ugly is this?!" I meant it endearingly though, because I absolutely love it. You know the saying, "It's so ugly, it's cute." I feel that way about some pugs. Well I love it paired with my high waist shorts even if the shorts do need a good lint brushing (Oops).
My skin is painfully dry still. I picked up some Olay moisturizer for sensitive skin, and I'm still using my Olay regenerist serum, but my skin is still itchy and flaky. I haven't worn makeup since I got back to Murfreesboro, and I haven't felt like doing anything with my hair either. I desperately need a haircut, but I'm saving up my money for people's Christmas gifts. I'm so excited about what I've gotten so far! =]
Blouse: Vintage/His House
Shoes: TJ Maxx
I hope everyone is having a much calmer Thursday than I am. I'm prep talking myself into going to Walmart and picking up some breakfast burritos and soup. I've also left a little song that calms me down.
Till next time,